sometimes you can't win for losing.

when i went downstairs to check my mail, i had some mail and as i was reaching in the mail box to get my mail, i fell on my ass by the mailboxes. it's the first time that i've fell with my walker (and i didn't even fall while holding onto it, i fell backwards outta it onto my ass) AND also the first time that i've fell PERIOD in a long time if i even think about it (including while walking up & down the hallway every evening). i was supposed to get a brazilian wax today, but one of the girls at the salon called me and said that all of their estheticians are out of the salon today and the one who was supposed to do my wax is sick or something. i missed a day of ARP just for this wax appointment, so this kinda pisses me off. i told the lady who told me that the esthetician had to cancel her appointment with me today that my transportation company would probably be pissed that i canceled on the same day and i wasn't sure if they'd take me anywhere anymore. i take metro mobility to my brazilian wax appointments and they're usually dicks about me canceling on the same day but the lady actually wasn't that bad today. i wonder if i got penalized for canceling the same day though. my independent living services worker also showed me the DMV website because she was wondering if i still wanted to get my license before i moved to new york. i told her that i didn't because it'd take too long and i'd probably have to take another test in new york, just to get a driver's license there. so she looked up if i'd have to take another test in new york to get my license and i wouldn't, i can just take my minnesota license and they'll legally switch it over to a ny driver's license. so, she helped me look up the dmv website and i'm looking over the driving manual now because she said that when she took the test a while ago to get her license (because she was from a different state or something), they sprung a few surprise questions that she didn't know and got wrong, so she said that it'd probably be wise for me to look it over. right now, i'm using this walker (that the lady who helped me a few days ago when my wheelchair's battery ran outta juice and i was getting a bunch of groceries from cub foods) brought me but i need something to get me to the store or something if i need groceries or something from the store. my PCA doesn't really even know fuckin english and i don't think that she knows how to read (well.. not in english anyway). she only is paid to come after 4 pm every day because i don't want requiring help from her to be a permanent thing. so i don't want her to get too comfortable in working with me. sooo.. i'm kinda at a stale mate here. to top it off, tomorrow, i got pool therapy at the courage center (and also friday) and i need something to help me to help me carry my swimming bag (which has my towel, my bra, and panties in it) when i go to pool therapy tomorrow at the courage center. my independent living services worker HOPEFULLY figured out a way for me to hang it and carry it on my walker while i walk tomorrow and friday. HOPEFULLY i WON'T fall.. i didn't fall when i had my tan bag with my planner in it on monday and tuesday but this is going to be a bigger bag, so i don't know.. we'll see. it's like when someone (i can't remember who it was) asked me what i would do if i fell when walking in my apartment, i looked at them and told them straight out, "I GET BACK UP." what the fuck do they WANT me to do? cry like a little bitch? that won't help anything.